Getting Back My Free Cable TV

I'm was so upset about my television reception as it has been non-existent lately. I spent hours checking our wires and connections. I did everything short of calling the cable company. I took a step outside to see if there was something wrong on the outside of the house. Wouldn't you know it? Peterson went and got satellite tv! That dirty #%#@! I was getting my cable from him for five years until now. What a jerk! Now both my neighbors on either side of me have satellite tv service and from what I read I can't just tap into their lines -- the tv providers make you buy a receiver to get their signals because they need a receiver serial number or something like that to activate it. Instead of removing my now useless hidden cables I'll leave my “tap-ins” to the land cables as they are (I left the cables to the Millers house when they converted to satellite and I subsequently moved my hook-up to the Petersons). I had a plan.

When it got dark I grabbed Junior out from bed. We stealthily entered the Peterson's backyard and their back porch. I showed Junior how I wanted him to come out twice a week, late at night, and turn the Peterson's dish out from it's alignment. We then went to the Millers and I watched him do as I showed him at the Petersons. He had a little more trouble with theirs because it's mounted to the side of the house so he had to use their pool skimmer to reach the dish. Smart kid.

Meanwhile I'll write to the providers as “Peterson” or “Miller” and request the service be turned off, change the billing addresses, and so on. At least twice a week my neighbors will be complaining to their provider about their poor reception and service and, hopefully, soon I will have my cable tv back.

Bath Day

Well, today was bath day at the Skin-Flint household. I don't think the kids will ever get used to the cold water from the hose, though I have to admit I think it's funny when they try to run away from Mary when she sprays them with it! Also I was happy the dead patch of grass was getting some water and I wouldn't have to water it myself later.

I know that some readers will ask, "Why do you get to take showers indoors, Bob?" That's a simple question to answer. Not only am I the man of the household,but being the established insurance salesman that I am, i have a reputation to maintain. I need to look and smell professional for a good impression on my customers. That's why I get the hot showers, Paul Mitchel shampoo and the professional haircuts at Walmart.

Back to today.
Again I had to chase off the neighbor kids who insist on watching Mary and the kids bathe in the front yard. Haven't they anything better to do? And how about some privacy? You won't find us peeking in your bathroom windows when you are bathing.

As I returned home I had one of those self-proud moments when I saw the shampoo bottle. You see Mary spends way too much on those little discretionaries for the home. For example, she insists on buying store brand shampoo - something that just ends up down the drain! As if the bar of soap isn't enough. So when she was away I found the old, empty shampoo bottle and filled it half way with the new one then added water to both and shook them up. I effectively bought our shampoo as a two-for-one! You won't even find a coupon that gives you that good a deal!

Showertime was getting very close to the ten-minute time limit so I made sure they saw me walk towards the spigot to turn it off. They were still lathered up but they know the rules. They begged me for one more minute of water and I let them have their precious minute -- it's better than to hear them fuss about it later.